


swiss army wife

by ibexdracula



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, abby and patty are only in here briefly, holtzbert focussed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 17:33:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibexdracula/pseuds/ibexdracula
Summary: "no woman should walk around unarmed."the story of erin's most prized possession





	swiss army wife

**Author's Note:**

> unashamedly completely inspired by this post: https://mckinnonsholtzmann.tumblr.com/post/162056388333/blackandwiteroses-vanessabives-okay-but
> 
> also, credit to j, even though you said you had nothing to do with this fic, because i definitely wouldn't have written this unless i'd been talking to you!
> 
> trying something a bit new with this fic (even though i've only written one fic before haha). i hope you like it!

she doesn’t know what to expect when she gets there. all holtz had said was ‘get dressed up, i’m taking you out somewhere nice this evening’

erin hadn’t questioned it, just put on a sophisticated dress and her newest heels and gone to the firehouse to meet her

abby is sitting behind kevin’s desk when erin arrives (who knows where that boy has got to)

_ hey! _

abby doesn’t look up from her laptop, and just squeaks out a ‘hi’ in erin’s general direction

before erin can ask her what was up with the odd reaction, patty walks out from the nearby kitchen

_ hey you lookin’ for holtzy? she’s up on the roof doing god-only-knows-what. sounded explosion-y. please go up there and stop that girl from blowing us all to kingdom come, she’s been up there for hours. you look stunning for your date, by the way - girl’s gonna freak when she sees you! _

_ aww, thanks patty. yeah i’ll go grab her; she’s been building that positron wave shield for days, she must be nearly done anyway _

_ cool. if i don’t see you this evening, have a good date! _

_ holtz has organised it, so i’m sure i will. you have a good evening too, alright? _

erin heads upstairs, taking them carefully in her high heels. she pushes the door to the roof open to see holtz leaning on the wall, looking out to the city. she’s in a waistcoat and harem pants, plus a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled to her elbows. she turns

_ hey beautiful _

_ hi. you ready for our date? _

_ yeah. come over here for a second though - i never get tired of how the city looks when the sun is setting _

erin moves to where holtz is stood, and mirrors her position at her side

_ oh, i got you something by the way _

_ oh? _

_ yeah, you know how your swiss army knife kind of fell apart a few busts ago? _

_ i’m so sorry about that, it was so special to me, it was the first thing you ever gave me, i- _

_ hey, hey, i know, it’s okay. not your fault that it was so old that fixing it was kinda impossible. anyway, i got you a new one, and reused as many pieces from the original as i could. here- _

holtz pulls a long rectangular box from her pocket and passes it to erin at her side

erin opens it, and finds a white and silver swiss army knife nestled gently inside

erin smiles, then gasps as she notices - on the inside of the box’s lid is written:

_ ‘will you be my swiss army wife?’ _

her head whips to holtz at her side, except she’s not there, she’s lower, on one knee, and erin looks down and sees holtz smiling wider than she’s ever seen. holtz takes erin’s free hand in both of hers

_ erin gilbert, you’re the most incredible person i’ve ever known. you’re wonderful, you’re brilliant, you take my breath away every time i see you. you deconstruct the most detailed workings of the universe on a daily basis, you’ve saved my life countless times, and i trust you more than i can ever say. these last two years have been the best of my life. i’ll never be able to truly express how much you mean to me in words, so i’ll stop for now and just ask: would you- would you do me the honour of becoming my wife? _

_ i- holtz- jillian- yes, yes of course, always- _

she pulls holtz to her feet, dropping the swiss army knife and its box, and wraps her arms around holtz’s shoulders, kissing her more deeply than they ever have before. holtz’s arms come around her waist for a moment, before lifting her and spinning them in a circle. erin squeaks into the kiss but doesn’t break it, even as holtz gently places her back down

_ hey, you guys getting hitched or what?! _

they break apart, laughing

_ oh my god abby- _

_ she said YES! ERIN GILBERT IS GONNA BE MY WIFE! I GET TO BE HER WIFE FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY! _

abby and patty cheer from the doorway, and hurry over to envelop them in a group hug

_ abby, are you crying? _

_ no _

_ don’t even try to deny it, girl. let’s give these two some alone time while you put yourself back together, come on _

patty ushers abby back inside as erin and holtz stand lost in each other, foreheads touching, smiling gently

_ i should’ve expected you to propose with a pun _

holtz grins

_ of course! _

_ how long have you been planning this? and patty’s a terrible liar, how did you get her to convincingly tell me you were up here working? _

_ she spends enough time annoyed with me for real that i think it just came naturally, to be honest _

there’s a pause, and they look into each other’s eyes for just a second more

_ i love you so much _

_ i love you more _

_ not possible _

_ yeah it i- _

holtz stops erin’s protest with another kiss. they don’t come down from the roof until the sky’s completely dark and the stars have all come out

  


* * *

  


holtz borrows the knife a couple of days before the wedding. erin doesn’t ask why

right after they kiss for the first time as a married couple, holtz pulls the knife from her inside breast pocket and gives it to erin. she’s engraved it with their initials and the date of their wedding

erin had managed not to cry through the whole ceremony but this pushes her over the edge

holtz pulls her close. erin tucks her head into the crook of holtz’s neck and grasps the back of her tux as the crowd laughs and awws at the adorable picture they make

  


* * *

  


on their honeymoon, erin decides that when they get back she’s going to learn how to sew because none of the flowy skirts she brought for the island vacation had pockets, and she had to leave it in their hotel room

once they’re back, she holds true to her word. she stabs herself with needles a million times, and accidentally ruins a favourite shirt when she screws up the sewing machine settings, but she gets there. she sews a small pocket into all her clothes so she can always have the knife on her person

holtz makes a lot of “is that a swiss army knife in your pocket or are you just happy to see me” jokes

erin always looks unimpressed

she loves the dorky jokes and her dorky wife anyway

  


* * *

  


a year or so later, for her birthday, holtz asks for a tattoo. she doesn’t tell erin what she’s going to get. she makes sure the artist covers it up really well so erin can’t see it until it’s properly healed

when she unwraps it to show erin, erin bursts into tears

it’s an outline of a swiss army knife -  _ her _ swiss army knife, even down to the initials and the wedding date in the middle

that night, erin stops to kiss it as she takes holtz’s shirt off

she makes sure to stop and kiss it every time they make love from then on

  


* * *

  


one day, erin puts her hand to her pocket as she does, unconsciously, all the time

but

it’s not there

her knife

holtz’s knife

it’s not there

erin is frantic

she can’t tell holtz

it’s their knife, she can’t tell holtz that she lost it

oh god, she lost it

she practically sprints outside, only pausing to walk when she’s in holtz’s eyeline, says she’s going to the library for research

holtz smiles and tells her to have fun

erin’s heart pounds in her ears

in actuality, erin spends the day painstakingly retracing her steps as far back as she can remember

she doesn’t find it, and she has to give up because it’s getting dark and her eyes are too blurry from the tears

she pushes open the door to their apartment

_ babe? _

erin falls apart

she tells holtz everything, apologises so many times she loses count

holtz tells her it’s okay, it’s okay, and moves her to their bedroom and holds her until erin cries herself to sleep

(she’s exhausted after traipsing all around the city all day)

as soon as she’s sure erin is out for the night, holtz disentangles herself

she pulls on a jacket, picks up a complex-looking device, and goes out to see if she can find it

it’s already past midnight

but she put a tracking device in it a long while back, as she does with everything she makes and modifies

besides, this one was extra important. she could never lose erin, she’d never forgive herself

the tracking system only works to within a half mile radius because the tracker had to be so small

so holtz painstakingly searches all those streets through the night

at about 5am, she sees the dot moving

she stands on the sidewalk, totally bemused, watching the screen of the wire-wrapped device in her hand

a garbage truck rolls through the next intersection ahead

lightning fast, it all makes sense and holtz puts it all together: it must have fallen out of erin’s pocket by a pile of trash, gotten kicked under or something so erin couldn’t see it, and then it had gotten caught up

she sprints after the truck

running all the way to the dump

she hauls herself up and over the fence (ouch, barbed wire)

and she searches through the newly dumped trash because she can’t go back home empty-handed

not when her wife had cried herself to sleep without the knife

she has to find it

...

erin wakes at 8am

alone

immediately she remembers yesterday and all her worst fears spring to mind

she runs through the apartment, checking every room, calling for jillian

she’s not there

she crumples to the floor in the middle of the entryway

she should’ve known

of course

she lost their knife, how could holtz forgive her

she rings her

but holtz’s phone buzzes on the coffee table

left behind

she falls apart all over again

but worse, because it was all her fault

it was all her fault and she won’t be able to survive this

but then there are sounds of keys outside and she looks up to see the door unlocking and a messy, dirty, bloody, exhausted jillian walking through

_ jillian? _

holtz pulls out her screw u chain from beneath her shirt

she’s threaded the chain through the keyring hole of the knife to be sure it would be safe

_ i found it, babe _

_ you’re here? you’re back?  _

_ yeah? _

_ you- you found it? _

_ yeah babe of course _

she kneels in front of erin and puts her hand to erin’s cheek

_ of course i found it for you _

erin pulls her by the front of her shirt into a crushing embrace

holtz hisses slightly

_ oh my god sorry sorry _

erin puts her hand to holtz’s bloodied thigh

_ what’s this? jillian? are you okay what happened oh my god did you get hurt finding this oh god _

_ erin, babe, just a bit of in-the-dark dumpster-diving, don’t worry, nothing out of the ordinary for me _

_ it ripped your pants though jill, and stained them, and these ones are your favourite, and- _

_ babe, erin, don’t worry, it’s okay, i'm okay. i was finding your knife, that was more important _

_ i- _

erin pulls holtz closer again

_ god i was so worried _

tears start falling again, even as she tries desperately to stop them

_ oh erin, gorgeous, c’mere _

holtz moves and slides an arm under erin’s knees and around her back

she picks her up (staggers slightly thanks to her thigh, a bit more injured than she’d told erin)

she moves them to the bedroom and lies them both down

erin curls into holtz straight away

_ god i love you jill. i can’t believe you went to find it _

_ of course i went to find it, it’s important to you _

erin sighs

_ you should get some sleep - were you up all night? _

_ yeeees… _

_ oh jillian. what do i even do with you _

_ take a nap with me? _

_ did you even need to ask _

they fall asleep on top of the covers

holtz is fully clothed, flat on her back, her right arm around erin’s shoulders and her left across her stomach, linking fingers with erin’s left hand

erin falls asleep curled up to holtz, a leg thrown over one of holtz’s, her head by holtz’s collarbone, her right hand wrapped around the knife on holtz’s necklace

erin never loses their swiss army knife again

  


* * *

  


FIN

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i really, really appreciate you all. if you've got time to make my day, i'd love a kudos or even a comment if you have a second <3


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